Understanding Engineers- Take One
- Filed under: jokes
- Date: Mar 7,2008
*Understanding Engineers- Take One*
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when
one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday,
minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this
bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothes & said, “Take
what you want.”
The second engineer nodded approvingly & said, “Good choice; the
clothes probably wouldn’t have fitted you anyways.”
* Understanding Engineers-Take Two*
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
*Understanding Engineers- Take Three*
A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We’ve been waiting 15
minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept
golfers!”
The priest said, “Here comes the greens keeper, let’s ask him.”
He said, “Hello, George! What’s wrong with the group ahead of us?
They’re rather slow aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire
fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
we always let them play for free anytime.”
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague & see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”
*Understanding Engineers- Take Four*
What is the difference between mechanical engineers & civil
engineers? Mechs build weapons & civs build targets.
*Understanding Engineers- Take Five*
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, ‘How does it work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
*Understanding Engineers- Take Six*
Four engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer, just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The third said, “It was obviously a chemical engineer, just think
about all the reactions taking place each second in the body.”
The last one said, “You’re all wrong , it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
*Understanding Engineers- Take Seven*
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
*Understanding Engineers- Take Eight*
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
him & said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog & put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again & said, “If you kiss me & turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it & returned
it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me & turn me back into a princess,
I’ll stay with you for one week & do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it & put it back into his pocket .
Finally, exasperated the frog asked, “What is the matter with you?
I’ve told you that I’m a beautiful princess & that I’ll stay with you for one
week & do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, ‘Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend,
but a talking frog, now that’s way cool!
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