Break in case of Emergency
- Filed under: Uncategorized
- Date: Jun 9,2006
Thought for the day!
- Filed under: Uncategorized
- Date: Jun 7,2006
“Thought for the day!
In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Cr�me Donuts. And Satan said ‘You want chocolate with that?’ and Man said ‘Yes!’ and Woman said, ‘and while you’re at it add some sprinkles.’
And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said ‘Try my fresh green salad.’ And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said ‘I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.’ And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken and fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it ‘Angel Cake’ and said ‘It is good.’ Satan then created chocolate cake and named it ‘Devil’s Food’.
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its �1 double cheeseburger. Then said ‘You want fries with that?’ and Man replied ‘Yes!
And super size them!’ And Satan said ‘It is good.’ And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created the National Health Service.
Thought for the day
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them….
_________________”
originally posted by Shippwreck
Top Ten Habits of Highly Effective Flamethrowers
- Filed under: Uncategorized
- Date: May 24,2006
Top Ten Habits of Highly Effective Flamethrowers
Rule 10: Never forget that the person reading your mail is a person, with feelings that can be hurt. If you see the opportunity, hurt them.
Rule 9: Behave online as you do in real life. This way, you can act like a total jerk under all circumstances.
Rule 8: Lurk until you get a feel for what’s acceptable in a particular forum or newsgroup. Then leap in and do the opposite.
Rule 7: Be aware of others’ time and bandwidth. Never post anything shorter than seven paragraphs. Ensure your sig is at least a screen long.
Rule 6: Make yourself look good online always post your abuse in complete, grammatically correct sentences.
Rule 5: Share expert knowledge. If you know how to push someone’s buttons in a forum, send private email to everyone else telling them.
Rule 4: Help keep flame wars under control: lead the charge.
Rule 3: Respect other people’s privacy…if you have some dirt about a member of a newsgroup, spread it only via private email.
Rule 2: Don’t abuse your power. Flame only those who disagree with you.
Rule 1: Remember: You were a network newbie once, too. You deserved all the flaming you got then. The current batch deserves no less.
posted by .:front2back:.
The Time..
- Filed under: Uncategorized
- Date: Jan 20,2006
Hmm the post time is showing the 20th sad to say that has long since passed.. real time (sorry to the Kiwi’s) 16:32 on the 21th of January. hmm what is the time on this blog West coast USA or Hawaii?
