Another Very Cool Sidewalk Art
- Filed under: that's life, wtf is that
- Date: May 18,2009
Due to increasing products liability litigation
- Filed under: that's life
- Date: Nov 2,2008
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really desperate for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The conscumption of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode
In Prison In Bars
- Filed under: that's life
- Date: Oct 25,2008
IN PRISON … you spend the majority of your time in an 8×10 cell.
AT WORK … you spend the majority of your time in one 6×8.
IN PRISON … you get three meals a day.
AT WORK … you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON … you get time off for good behaviour.
AT WORK … you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.
IN PRISON … the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK … you carry around a security card and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON … you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK … you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON … you get your own toilet.
AT WORK … you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON … they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK … you can’t even speak to your family.
IN PRISON … you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK … they’re called managers.
IN PRISON … all expenses paid by taxpayers; no work required.
AT WORK … you get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON … you spend your life looking through bars from the inside, wanting to get out.
AT WORK … you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
I’ll never complain about my burb again
- Filed under: that's life
- Date: Oct 24,2008
S’pose you were living in one of these places ……
1. Shafter (California, USA)
2. Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
3. Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
4. Bastard (Norway)
5. Twatt (Orkney, UK)
6. Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
7. Muff (Northern Ireland)
8. Wankie (Zimbabwe)
9. Climax (Colorado, USA)
10. Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
11. Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
12. Fukum (Yemen)
13. Lord Berkeley’s Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
14. Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
15. Turdo (Romania)
16. Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
17. Seymen (Turkey)
18. Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
19. Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
20. Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
21. Wanks River (Nicaragua)
22. Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
23. Fuku (Shensi, China)
24. Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
25. Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
26. Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
27. Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
28. Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
29. Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
30. Chinaman’s Knob (Australia)
31. Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)
32. Tittybong (Australia)
33. Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
34. Dikshit (India)
35. Wankener (India)
36. Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
