Due to increasing products liability litigation

• Author: admin
• Filed under: that's life
• Date: Nov 2,2008

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really desperate for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The conscumption of alcahol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode

In Prison In Bars

• Author: admin
• Filed under: that's life
• Date: Oct 25,2008

IN PRISON … you spend the majority of your time in an 8×10 cell.
AT WORK … you spend the majority of your time in one 6×8.

IN PRISON … you get three meals a day.
AT WORK … you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON … you get time off for good behaviour.
AT WORK … you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.

IN PRISON … the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK … you carry around a security card and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON … you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK … you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON … you get your own toilet.
AT WORK … you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON … they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK … you can’t even speak to your family.

IN PRISON … you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK … they’re called managers.

IN PRISON … all expenses paid by taxpayers; no work required.
AT WORK … you get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON … you spend your life looking through bars from the inside, wanting to get out.
AT WORK … you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

I’ll never complain about my burb again

• Author: admin
• Filed under: that's life
• Date: Oct 24,2008

S’pose you were living in one of these places ……

1. Shafter (California, USA)
2. Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
3. Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
4. Bastard (Norway)
5. Twatt (Orkney, UK)
6. Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
7. Muff (Northern Ireland)
8. Wankie (Zimbabwe)
9. Climax (Colorado, USA)
10. Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
11. Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
12. Fukum (Yemen)
13. Lord Berkeley’s Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
14. Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
15. Turdo (Romania)
16. Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
17. Seymen (Turkey)
18. Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
19. Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
20. Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
21. Wanks River (Nicaragua)
22. Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
23. Fuku (Shensi, China)
24. Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
25. Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
26. Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
27. Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
28. Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
29. Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
30. Chinaman’s Knob (Australia)
31. Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)
32. Tittybong (Australia)
33. Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
34. Dikshit (India)
35. Wankener (India)
36. Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)

Bozo’s Dead

• Author: admin
• Filed under: that's life
• Date: Jul 6,2008

Larry Harmon, the alter ego behind Bozo the Clown for more than 50 years, died on Thursday of congestive heart failure at age 83, his spokesman said.Harmon, a native of Ohio, died at his home in Los Angeles, his spokesman, Jerry Digney said.

Harmon was not the original Bozo, but he portrayed the flame-haired clown in numerous appearances over the years.

Over the years, Harmon trained some 200 actors to portray the clown for various local TV stations and other programs franchised around the country.

Bozo the Clown’s Larry Harmon dead at 83 | Entertainment | People | Reuters

A Really Big Kid From Alton, Illinois

• Author: admin
• Filed under: that's life
• Date: Feb 22,2008

Wadlow was a 6-footer at the age of 8. At 10, he was 6 feet 5 inches and weighed 210 pounds. At 13, he was “the world’s tallest Boy Scout,” standing 7 feet 4 inches. He was 17 when he topped 8 feet. At the time of his death, Wadlow stood an inch shy of 9 feet, weighed 440 pounds — and was still growing.

Wadlow had designs on studying law, but a 1936 tour with the Ringling Bros. Circus made him a celebrity, and he spent the rest of his short life making public appearances. His placid nature earned him the nickname “Gentle Giant.”

As might be expected, Wadlow’s enormous size put a lot of strain on him physically. He required leg braces to walk and had very little feeling in his lower extremities.

Feb. 22, 1918: A Really Big Kid From Alton, Illinois