I Didn’t Do It…the Butler Did
- Filed under: funny picts, funny sports picts, get a life, political humor
- Date: Oct 16,2009
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip
- Filed under: political humor
- Date: Jan 30,2009
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting
over a pint of goat’s milk.
The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping
through pictures and they start reminiscing.
“This is my oldest son Mohammed. He’s 24 years old now”
“Yes, I remember him as a baby” says the other mother
cheerfully.
“He’s a martyr now though” mum confides.
“Oh so sad dear” says the other.
“And this is my second son Kalid. He’s 21″
“Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, “he had such curly
hair when he was born”.
“He’s a martyr too ” says mum quietly.
“Oh gracious me …” says the other.
“And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He’s
18″, she whispers.
“Yes” says the friend enthusiastically, “I remember when he
first started school”.
“He’s a martyr also,” says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks
wistfully at the photographs and says…
“They blow up so fast, don’t they?”
Saddam
- Filed under: political humor
- Date: Nov 1,2008
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office, wondering whom to invade next, when his telephone rang. “Hallo! Mr. Hussein,” a heavily accented voice rang out.
“This is Paddy, down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!”
“Well, Paddy,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself,my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Saddam paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army, waiting to move on my command.”
“Bugorrah!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back!” Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. “Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Saddam asked.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1 1/2 million since we last spoke.”
“Saints preserve us!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. “Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Harrigan’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!”
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by Laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“For goodness sake!” said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr.Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” said Paddy, “we’ve all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”
