- Author: admin
- Filed under: jokes
- Date: Apr 19,2008
A bloke’s wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there’s a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, ‘Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news’.
‘Well,’ says the bloke, ‘I guess I’d better have the bad news first?’ The Sarge says, ‘I’m really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.’
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, ‘Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we’ve brought you your share.’ He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. ‘Geez thanks. They’re bloody beauties.
I guess it’s an ill wind and all that… So what’s the other possible good news?
‘Well’, the Sarge says, ‘if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o’clock and we’re gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!
posted by DaFoxx
- Author: admin
- Filed under: jokes
- Date: Apr 19,2008
posted by Ally
A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past , looks up and says “Hey Koala ! what are you doing?”
The koala says: “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river.
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?”
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says “Hey you!”
So the koala looks down at him and says: “Fuuuu - k dude…….how much water did you drink?!!”
- Author: admin
- Filed under: get a life
- Date: Apr 18,2008
RIAA sues homeless man; makes ’sewer service’; Magistrate recommends Rule 11 sanctions; Judge says no but denies default judgment
On April 9, 2007, the RIAA’s process server had posted a copy of the summons and complaint on the door of the defendant’s apartment, which the RIAA knew was not a good address.
On April 17, 2007, the plaintiffs requested a 60-day adjournment of a scheduled conference because their “attempts at service at Defendant’s last-known address were
unsuccessful.”Plaintiffs stated they were “now conducting a thorough address
investigation to locate a current address at which to serve Defendant before the
June 13, 2007 service deadline.”
Recording Industry vs. The People
- Author: admin
- Filed under: jokes
- Date: Apr 14,2008
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.
The doctor says, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
She says, “Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!”
posted by Ally
- Author: admin
- Filed under: jokes
- Date: Apr 12,2008
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
‘Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,’ she told him.
‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked ‘How does that feel?’
He replied, ‘It feels great,
but I still think my thumb’s broken!’
posted by DaFoxx
